Two Best Practices to Change Unwanted Behaviours
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Life Coaching
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Dorothy Ratusny
Life Coaching Wisdom
In this segment of Life Coaching WISDOM, discover two helpful Cognitive Behavioural Strategies for changing unwanted behaviours.  First, its important to know that your behaviours are determined by your current mood state.  To change how you feel, you need to change what you tell yourself.  Use these two best practices; for developing mindfulness and for being in control of how you feel and what you tell yourself.  Namaste!! xo
From the community
22 reflections
J
Julie
Examining Thoughts
Dorothy teaches us before we react to a situation pausing for a moment to check in with our mind to see why we are feeling the way we do. One technique is to record your thoughts. The second technique is to ask your mind...where is the evidence when your mind is getting caught up in thoughts. This will help you to figure out if your mind is being truthful with you.
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Jenny
Thoughts and Change
Good exercise to remind me to recognize, accept, analyze thoughts, emotions, behaviors with mindful and critical eyes. These are the tools to arrive in a detached, neutral space, at zero point. I have learned time and again that the best decisions and solutions I have made are when I am within this space, this neutral state- where the outcome may or not be the one I want, but with the trust that the outcome is such as is best for my higher self. 👀 💕🙏🏻 Namaste.
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Lolo
Thoughts and Behaviors
This lesson helped me understand that most of my own behaviors are based off my emotions. I tend to react quickly when my feelings are hurt mostly on impulse. I have to teach myself to channel that anger into positive reactions.
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Cherish
Time to Reflect
Our behaviors are what we do. They can change based on how we feel in any given moment. And, how we feel in any given moment is the result of our thoughts. In this life coaching wisdom session, Dorothy gives us two strategies based off of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, (CBT) in which we can change our thoughts, thus changing the way we feel and ultimately ridding ourselves of unwanted behaviors. The first strategy is challenging our thoughts by asking ourselves, where is the evidence? By asking ourselves this question we challenge ourselves to find the truth. The second strategy is looking for alternative ways of thinking about the situation. By looking for alternative ways of thinking about a particular situation, we can examine the story we have created in our mind. By examining the story we have created in our mind, we can decide whether or not to go along with it based on what we know to be true. These strategies require us to have a conscious awareness of our thoughts. If we want to change unwanted behaviors, we must take a step back and reflect on what our thoughts are before we act or react. Noticing our mood and how we feel ultimately influences our choices and our actions or reactions. If we take some time to reflect, our decisions will be from a state of calm rather than from states of unwanted behaviors. Namaste 🙏🏻❤️☮️
WJ
Walter J
Thinking...
Dorothy does an excellent job with this whole session. It begins with a thought, which causes a feeling (primarily based on our Beliefs that we created for ourselves from our Inherited Tendencies & Childhood Conditioning), that drive our behaviors, which result in our acting in a certain way that bring results. We cannot directly change results without changing our actions or behaviors. And we cannot them until we Believe we can. We must start with our thoughts and that will drive the rest to naturally happen. She does give a couple effective ways to do this! Thanks Dorothy for this powerful information & Cherish for bringing it to my attention! ❤️🙏🏼🍀
WJ
Walter J
Acting...
Having heard this one before and liking it, I was led to listen to it again. Dorothy explains our behaviors consist of our actions & reactions. The difference jumped out at me. Our re-actions are our conditioned responses to others & situations. Typically done without Thinking, at least without “consciously” Thinking. Our sub-conscious mind is a powerful but tricky piece of equipment. On one hand it controls our heartbeat, our digestion and all other involuntary bodily functions (thank goodness). On the other hand it contains all the Beliefs that were born or conditioned into us at an early age as well as what we have chosen to Believe or trained ourselves to Know thru trial & error & education. Thus, all our reactions come from our subconscious mind without us really Thinking about them. Right or wrong, helpful or hurtful, Beneficial or Detrimental. And it is so fast that we “react without thinking” literally. Dorothy encourages us to Consciously Think about the stimulus so we can Choose how we want to Act. Think about it from several angles so we can act based on Truth, not preconditioned Beliefs that may or may not be true. We can only re-act as well as our Inherited Tendencies & Childhood Conditioning were programmed into us. But, we can learn to ‘Act’ from the higher places of Truth, Love, Peace & Compassion by Thinking! Think higher thoughts and you can ‘Act’ from a higher place for the greater good or what I call The BOM (The Betterment Of Mankind). After all we are all Act-ors and all the world a stage! 💚🧠🍀
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Ri
Thoughts
I learned that my thoughts are powerful and that I can change my behaviour through my own thoughts and reflecting on why I have those thoughts can change my behaviour
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Tom
Good argument for journaling...
I'm going to transcribe this session and read it to myself a few times at intervals, trying to do more and more of what it suggests. Journal.
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Judith
Técnicas para cambiar mi pensamiento
- retarlos ¿dónde está o cuál es la evidencia? Cuando siento celos o inseguridad en mi misma suelo armar historias (está con alguien más, no le intereso) y pueden estar ocurriendo cosas que no tienen que ver conmigo
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Olivia
Going to listen to this a lot!
So helpful and summarizes everything I’m trying to work on right now.
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Andro
Thoughts
We very often take our thoughts for granted. Idea to re examine them sounds very interesting, will try it...
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Emma🌱
I felt calm and allowed myself to be still and listen
My thoughts aren’t facts and i have to be aware of how i base my emotion apart of what i think causing me to be upset . Now taking the time to realize my thoughts aren’t me and not letting myself to connect to the thought but process and try to understand from a view point that is higher 🌙✨☀️
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Guinevere
Questioning thoughts
I'll use the "where is the evidence" question to help me not immediately buy in to my thoughts. I already feel a bit lighter and more optmistic
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Tressa
Sunday August 30
I feel good, I feel relaxed. Only slept for about an hour but once I have some coffee I feel ready to take on this house.
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Mandy
I needed that
I literally stopped in my tracks when I was reminded that when people treat you a certain way, react negatively, speak to you brashly...it’s because that is how that probably treat themselves. I am the best at beating myself up and negative self talk. In thinking about the person who I fight with the most he definitely has a negative self image and feels he is less than. It explains a lot.
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Katy
Where's the evidence?
I learned that I need to examine my thoughts more as I am often unaware of the causes for my actions. A good listen, I have added it to my favourites
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Lisa
I learned that I can stop and hear my thoughts and challenge them to change my mood
That I can stop and hear my thoughts and challenge them to change my mood
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Kim
Learning #1
I can take my the thoughts that lead to a problem behavior and ask, “Where’s the evidence that ________________?”
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Vics
Post hen night.
I must look at my thoughts and ask where’s the evidence if I ever doubt or feel sad and help Rhodri do the same .
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Lauren
Wisdom & Truth
This is such a good exercise and reminder to question our thoughts and behaviours. That simple question of, where is the evidence is an absolute game changer! Thank you 🙏
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Cecelia
Stress
I have to channel my thoughts in a time i feel overwhelmed with emotions that wau i can control my thinking to not react the way i would
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Amanda
To change my thoughts by challenging them be aware mindful
Step back don’t be what u don’t want to be recorded thought can have powerful effect on my behavior Where’s the evidence State thought Prove Thoughtto be true Have validablity examine thoughts change perspective How do I want to behave or act what’s the best approach to deal with this situation CBT Be calm positive outcome Everything begins with a thought
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